I just saw Wall-E, and when I entered the theater, I expected a cutsey-wootsey, cheesy little ditz of a film. Boy, was I shocked! It’s like a straight guy chasing skirts across the world. Then he gets to Scotland.

Ugh.

Not thinking about it.

Anyway, it was far from cutsey- although it was cute. WallE is the single survivor of the robots tasked to clean up the mess humans have made before they all left earth for a paradise space-ship, and the world has become too toxic- at least, that’s what it seems- for any plant or animal life to grow. That is, until WallE discovers a single, tiny plant, sprouting hidden beneath the mountains of garbage and toxic waste from the humans. When an emmisionary robot called Eva arrives to see if Earth is suitable for humans, she and WallE fall in love, and when she finds the plant, they leave together to inform the humans. But humans have become fat and lazy, and the auto-pilot ship is unwilling to show the plant to humans and give up its control. But with a little help from some humans and the captain, and all the rebel robots (if you can call some salon-worker and kick-boxer robots, “rebels”), WallE and Eva might just be able to bring the human race home.

This movie is both funny, sad, happy, and beautiful all at once, reminding us to take care of our planet. For WallE has shown what will happen then- and what we can do to bring forth life. And hope.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck all! I just saw the Series Finale of Instant Star, and it sucked like Hell! And not the good, sexy, you-know-what-I’m-talking-about sucked. For you LOSERS who don’t know what TV show I’m talking about, it’s about this girl Jude who wins a singing contest (basically a rip off of American Idol) and becomes a professional artist, dealing with all the shit that comes with. And the finale… well, let’s just say it ain’t no Rock Candy mountain. She dumps her boyfriend- her super hot, uber super di dooper sexy schmexy yummicilious boyfriend who just proposed to her- even though they’re SOOOOO in love (like Jlo love, not Madonna and Justin what’s-his-face love) and moves to England, to get a new singing contract. Ummmm, Britney Spears much? Dudette, you got you pretty little face up in some hot angel’s cloud, cuz he was gonna GO WITH YOU to some far-off distant land with guys that are possibly even more schmexy than him (you know, accents and stuff). Get a life. And, of Course, there were all these crappy loose ends- this couple of this girl who’s all superficial and her husband who’s the best friend of Jude’s (they’re all twenty-somethings) are about to get sued, and you don’t get to see what’s happening, Jude’s sister is being hit on by her boss, just as she gets rid of her “almost as sexy as Jude’s boyfriend” boyfriend because she thinks his love is too “intense.” Yeah. Um. No. He gives you BACK RUBS woman, BACK RUBS! For the sake of Zooey Deschamel’s fake eyelashes, get a hold of yourself! And all this other crap about Jude’s other best friend, Jamie, being in love with her and starting a new record company… Again, no Rock Candy Mountain here. Don’t watch it. Just watch the penultimate episode- which, if extended for an hour rather than 30 min, it was REAL scary, and with a good happy ending and loose ends were tied up (then loosened up again in the finale) it would have made a SOOOOOO MUCH BETTER ENDING. You disappoint me, “the-N.” Crawl back into your slime-covered hole, you infested pile of carp! DIE! DIE! DIE!

Yo, everybody! WASSUUUUUUUUUP! Sorrry I haven’t written in, like, a bazillion years.  I’ve just been so caught up in everything going on in my life- graduations, parties, summer schools, vacations, and, of course, checking out guys’ asses I see in other places.  I’m going to high school!  But anyway, the guys are SOOOOOOO much hotter in San Diego than in the Bay Area.  Here, guys are so-so..ish.  There, almost every single guy was H-O-T hot.  Even the middle aged ones! It isn’t fair!

Alas, I’ll just have to hope hotter guys come to the Bay Area.  I’m working on updating new stuff on my blog, so take a look around tomorrow.  I LOVE YOU ALL!  OK, actually, I’d probably hate most of you if I met you.  Get over it.

Sorry I haven’t blogged in a bit.  I bin a bit busy doing school stuff.  Anyway, I’m about to post some new stuff so come take a look around.

According to the newest research by Professor HongSheng Zhao of the University of St Andrews in Scotland, dark energy and dark matter are possibly created via something called “dark fluid” (what an original name, you worthless turd). The dark fluid creates dark matter and energy much the same way Earh’s atmosphere creates clouds- some energy arises and clumps together to create something (like clouds), while others collapse and become something completely different (like rain).  Apparently, this would explain why the universe doesn’t expand faster than Dave O’neil does at a Christmas dinner.  Well, whatever, we may never know shit about the universe.  Too bad.

Today is the Spring Equinox! It’s the time when the sun arises from the earth, and the world breaks free from the cold bonds of the winter. The sun evolves from a weak, watery light to a huge shining globe of flame and hope… sorta like its going through puberty. It’s also the time when the animals come out of hibernation and… fuck each other. Isn’t life just full of sex? I think when the Goddess was making the world, she was watching porn. Ugh. I’m not going there. Anyhoo, in celebration of the Spring Equinox and the return of the Sun from the night, taped a note to a balloon and set it free at sunrise. I put my e-mail on the note, and I’m hoping someone responds. YAY ME, BITCH. OR WHATEVER.

This parady was hilarious when I watched it.  Ha ha ha.  Whatever.  Buttons, Sia.

It always surprises me about how many people don’t know what the maypole represents.  Can’t you people figure it out?  It’s so obvious!  But for those of you too thick, I will spell it out for you: THE POLE IS A GIANT DICK, AND THE RIBBONS ARE A VAGINA.  Get it? Mayday was originally the holiday of sexuality (go on, rub yourself for mayday), during which lovers would jump through a fire, bringing good luck for fertility, then making love in the woods (being VERY in tune with nature).  Babies born through this were considered lucky babies, and were especially in touch with the Faerie world.  It sounds just so magically delicious.  I think I’ll go try it.

As you might have realized, I haven’t been blogging for a bit.  So much has been going on- I just had my Bar Mitzvah in December, New Years, new semester in school… you get it.  I got some new poems, so take a look.