THE UBER-SUCKY SERIES FINALE TO “iNSTANT sTAR”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck all! I just saw the Series Finale of Instant Star, and it sucked like Hell! And not the good, sexy, you-know-what-I’m-talking-about sucked. For you LOSERS who don’t know what TV show I’m talking about, it’s about this girl Jude who wins a singing contest (basically a rip off of American Idol) and becomes a professional artist, dealing with all the shit that comes with. And the finale… well, let’s just say it ain’t no Rock Candy mountain. She dumps her boyfriend- her super hot, uber super di dooper sexy schmexy yummicilious boyfriend who just proposed to her- even though they’re SOOOOO in love (like Jlo love, not Madonna and Justin what’s-his-face love) and moves to England, to get a new singing contract. Ummmm, Britney Spears much? Dudette, you got you pretty little face up in some hot angel’s cloud, cuz he was gonna GO WITH YOU to some far-off distant land with guys that are possibly even more schmexy than him (you know, accents and stuff). Get a life. And, of Course, there were all these crappy loose ends- this couple of this girl who’s all superficial and her husband who’s the best friend of Jude’s (they’re all twenty-somethings) are about to get sued, and you don’t get to see what’s happening, Jude’s sister is being hit on by her boss, just as she gets rid of her “almost as sexy as Jude’s boyfriend” boyfriend because she thinks his love is too “intense.” Yeah. Um. No. He gives you BACK RUBS woman, BACK RUBS! For the sake of Zooey Deschamel’s fake eyelashes, get a hold of yourself! And all this other crap about Jude’s other best friend, Jamie, being in love with her and starting a new record company… Again, no Rock Candy Mountain here. Don’t watch it. Just watch the penultimate episode- which, if extended for an hour rather than 30 min, it was REAL scary, and with a good happy ending and loose ends were tied up (then loosened up again in the finale) it would have made a SOOOOOO MUCH BETTER ENDING. You disappoint me, “the-N.” Crawl back into your slime-covered hole, you infested pile of carp! DIE! DIE! DIE!

~ by emolord666 on June 28, 2008.